


If it hadn't been you...

by Lila_of_the_Moon



Category: TsukiPro the Animation
Genre: How Do I Tag, M/M, Memories, Nightmares, angsty??, it's probably just boring, sorry about that, this actually goes nowhere from nowhere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 12:52:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17488388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lila_of_the_Moon/pseuds/Lila_of_the_Moon
Summary: An unusual dream brings questions but also certainties about past mistakes and choices.





	If it hadn't been you...

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write something cute again but I really lacked inspiration, and then one random day this flash came to me while listening to -SolidS-' Chronoah...  
> Don't ask, I don't even know (?)

The lights in the room were bright. So bright he couldn’t help but close his eyes for a few moments.  
There was music surrounding him. A quick rhythmed song. And a screeching sound, like many people moving their feet at the same time, following the music.  
Curious, he tried to slowly open his eyes, and that’s when he heard the first voice.  
“Kensuke? Are you alright?”  
A female voice. The teacher.

Right.  
He recognized the music too. It was a dance lesson.  
And not just any dance lesson. He recognized the music for being the one from that one and only day.  
He looked around and spotted many familiar faces. Young children were gathered in the room, following the instructions of the teacher, clapping her hands for them to hear the rhythm.  
A couple of them stand out to him more than the others.

Kensuke thought of it as odd. He perfectly remembered that very day, but why was he seeing it again now?  
Leaving questions aside, for now, he started following the dance moves of the others. Strangely enough, his body seemed to remember that dance itself, he didn’t even have to put much effort in it, so after a little while, he started to pay more attention to the others around him than his own movements.

The strong lights still made it difficult for him to see, especially with the big wall-mirrors reflecting it all.  
The music stopped, and so did his body. While the teacher approached one of the children to give him advice, Kensuke searched again among them, the platinum blond boy that looked so fragile, but in which eyes burned an intimidatory passion he never saw before.  
Well, never saw before that day; now it was more unusual not to see those eyes for a whole day than anything.

The boy was having trouble with one particular spin, and if Kensuke’s memory was right…

The music started again, but Ken didn’t move, he watched.  
It took only a few moments for the time of the step involving that spin came, the blonde boy tripped on his right foot and fell on his knees, almost too graciously.  
Kensuke always thought that. The teacher rushed to him, but the boy was standing already as nothing happened. In fact, he was sure the other children didn’t even realize what happened.  
But he remembered. It made him smile.

After that, the lesson was over in just a few minutes, and as always they all rushed over to their bags to get ready for whatever their next lesson was.  
SunPro made sure even their younger talents got used as soon as possible to a pretty packed day; they really wanted to teach them all they might have needed in the future after all, good or bad.

Just as he thought of walking away, he found himself before a bag that looked madly similar to his own, but he knew wasn't.  
He reached for the towel that was peeking from the bag’s zipper and dried the sweat on his face and neck. His ears were already searching for the shy and panicked scream that would soon come from the boy the towel belonged to, but the sound never came.

Confused, Kensuke turned around, to find the blonde boy staring at him with a plain face. It surely wasn’t the look he remembered.  
The boy lowered his head and reached for the bag across Ken, without looking at him at all and dashed out of the room without a word.  
Kensuke stared at the door for a moment, the sounds around him growing dull.  
Suddenly the lights got overly bright again, forcing him to cover his eyes with one hand.

And the music started off again. The very same lesson starting one more time from the very same point as before. Only this time the music was louder, the sound coming from everyone’s movement almost way too loud.  
“Kensuke? Are you alright?”

The teacher’s voice was almost a whisper in that chaos of sounds.  
Kensuke took a few steps back, covering his ears with both hands, almost to prevent his head from exploding under the noises getting even louder.

The moment he thought of running out of the room, he found himself standing in front of the same bag he stared at before, a little towel resting on it.

Again, he turned around just to see the room was empty now. Not a single sound was to be eared, not even his own breath.  
Without thinking he reached for the towel, the rustle of the fabric barely audible.

He raised his eyes to the center of the room once again, and there he was. Pale skin reflecting the colours of the wall and floor, soft-looking hair adorably brushed everywhere by the sweat of the dance lesson. Eyes piercing into his soul judging his very essence.  
His lips… moved. 

The boy said something, but no sound came from his lips, and Kensuke couldn't catch it.  
He looked around for a moment, more confused than ever. No one was with them even though all the other children bags were still there.  
He took a step forward and for a moment he was really frightened.  
There was a look in the eyes of the boy standing in front of him, no other word could describe it but “empty”.

In the blink of an eye the scary boy was in front of the door, his hand ready to push it open, about to exit the room; about to exit Kensuke’s life even before having a chance to be part of it.  
“Wait..”  
For the first time Kensuke spoke, but his voice was weak, like his very own body tried to prevent him from talking.  
He tried to take a step, firm on stopping the boy himself, to chase him down if necessary.  
But his body again wouldn’t move. There was something holding him down, he could feel it on his legs, like hands holding him in place. Many hands, cold hands.

A weird feeling started to rise inside him; the desperation of needing to stop that boy from getting away, he had to, otherwise, there would be no future for him, for them.  
He just had to. But he couldn’t.

The blond boy didn't turn to look at him, no matter how loud Kensuke tried to yell at him to wait.  
He pushed the door.  
“Wait!! Ryo--”

 

 

The light in the room was soft. It didn’t hurt his eyes when he opened them.  
The room was silent. The sound of his own irregular breaths was the first thing to bring him back to reality.  
Before the gentle sweat dripping to the base of his neck.  
Before the softness of the couch’s pillows under his body, before the warmth of the blanket covering his legs, before the rustling sound of paper falling on the ground beside him. 

 

Pictures.

 

Slowly waking up, Kensuke’s mind traced back the events of that day. For once he had the afternoon off that day, so he decided to clean up some of the old pictures still without a place in his room.  
In the middle of winter there was a bit of a gloomy feeling in doing such a thing in one’s room, so he decided to do that in Growth’s common room.  
With how sensitive to cold he is, the warmth of the common room plus a soft blanket and a cup of tea was the best to him.  
Said cup was still on the little table in front of him, the remains of the drink cold and lonely on the bottom of the mug.

He may have set himself a bit too comfortably since it appears he fell asleep right in the middle of his work.  
He stretched himself out with a loud meowing before crunching to collect the fallen pictures. Most of them were from the times when they were still working under SunPro, some from many years ago now; there was even one class-picture with all the children that used take dance lessons with him when he almost barely started learning. Old pictures he never got a real to chance to sort out since they moved to the dorm.  
They brought the feeling of not really belonging there, maybe that was why?

He smiled at himself and at the feeling that somehow he just had a dream related to his past, but unable to quite grasp the images again. Was it about that time? About those pictures? Were Ryota and Koki in it too?  
Sure enough, it must have been rather wild given the way he suddenly woke up; given that, not being able to remember anything about it was even more frustrating.

 

Wrapped up in his thoughts he barely noticed the click of the door as someone entered the room.  
He got up, setting blanket and pictures aside, and rushed to greet whoever was back first.

Eyes low and far away, a slender and elegant figure stepped in the room sighing loudly. The weight of the day beginning to press on his shoulder, Ryota had a lot to deal with at work. Being the youngest actor in the play he won the audition for put a lot of pressure on him, and his seniors weren’t exactly trying to make it easier for him despite their words. Not that he really minded, he thought it was best to learn the hard way sometimes, it's just that he couldn’t really avoid feeling irritated as well sometimes. Well, often, actually.

It’s while letting his mind fly between all these negative thoughts that he raises his head and finds Kensuke standing before him, his arms spread open, a warm smile on his face.  
Ah, that smile. The one he uses to brush away all troubles. Was he even aware of how dumb it made him look sometimes?  
Whatever. It wasn’t really important.

After staring at Ken for a few moments, Ryota slowly walked to him and silently slipped his own arms around the other guy.  
Kensuke closed the hug around them, resting his cheek on Ryo’s hair: thing that usually made the other mad, being reminded that their height difference could sometimes allow that, but that now was the most comfortable for both.

 

Ryota himself didn’t say a word and enjoyed the warmth from the other, making the feel kick all pressure of work from his mind.  
Peaceful.  
And then he realized something.  
“Ken, were you sleeping?”  
“Eh?” the other totally taken aback from the sudden question.  
“You seem so rested it makes me mad” his words came out with a harsher tone that he wished for. It’s not like he was really mad, he didn’t want Ken to think so either.  
The other giggled in response.  
“Mmm, maybe?” Ken released him from his arms, but resting his hands on Ryo’s shoulders he didn’t break contact yet.  
And again he smiled.

 

“Are you hungry?”  
Saying so he grabbed Ryota’s hand and led him to the living area, while he walked to the kitchen.  
“I can cook something for us before Koki and Mamoru come back. What would you like?”

It took some time for Ryota to answer. For a moment he found himself just sitting on a chair staring like in trance at the dark-hair guy setting up the kitchen for whatever he was going to prepare, or make a mess out of.  
Soon he headed on the other side of the counter and helped Kensuke make a nice meal for the both of them.  
But it was just while doing so, while lightly chatting together about their day and smaller things, that Ryota’s tired mind couldn’t help but think back to that time, that day.

 

That day when little Kensuke used his towel by mistake.  
That mistake of a clumsy child that brought their fate together.  
What would have happened if Kensuke didn’t pick up the wrong towel? What if it was someone else’s towel and not his? What if they never had a chance to talk? SunPro would have still probably made them work together because of their age, but what if…?

Ryota still holds a grudge to him for that mistake, but he was also grateful that it was Ken who grabbed his towel, and not some other kid.  
Ken himself could still feel somewhere inside him a little disturbance from the vague memory of the dream he had earlier, but now he felt like it was of an even smaller matter when Ryo was actually by his side. Then why did he still feel like he needed to say something about it?

“I’m glad it was you.”  
Word slipped out of his mouth before he had a chance to even think about them.  
“What?” confused, Ryota couldn’t connect those words to what they were talking about there in any way.  
“Ah-- I mean, yeah, that day… I’m glad I grabbed your towel…” a soft reddish color settled on Ken’s cheeks as he spoke, realizing what he just said, and out of the blue of all.  
“My towe-- Ah...” a delighted chuckled reached Ken’s ear.  
Funny, how he himself was thinking about it just a few moments before.  
“Ken, The way you flirt is shameful” Ryota kept on laughing to himself and Ken couldn't help but join him, thinking that it still was one of the best sounds he ever heard, and how he wanted to keep on hearing it for still a lot longer in time.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this is actually nothing special but all good as long as it leads to anything cute I guess??  
> Cuteness is justice so, let them be cute *


End file.
